Vincent van Gogh: Eternity's Gate (image from here, and more information here)
I cannot believe it. I cannot find my book project for which I cut the alphabet. I must have put it in a place that I cleverly (!) thought was appropriate, and now have forgotten where. I clutch my head these days as elements of my memory are slipping away. No longer can I trust myself, and it is becoming vaguely alarming.
What makes this state of affairs even more disconcerting is that I used to have an abnormally good memory, and for trivial items which endeared me to the huge extended family of relatives, and to colleagues too. It smoothed my path at work, and it became essential for caring for my mother. But now odd wearings away appear: names disappear although I can remember all other details about the person. Nouns also scuttle off as soon as I reach out for them - I can see the item in my head, I can even describe it in words, but can I name it?
But this loss of my project is yet a stage further, and is mildly worrying. I am (was) logical, practical, and reasonably tidy, and for two days now I have looked everywhere - I think - where I would normally have put the stuff. I'm still calm(ish), and will not panic, and today is concerned with different matters, so will allow the retrieval elements of my memory a rest, so that like the names and nouns which pop up later than needed, it can give me a hint as to where to look.